Writings of Old {Day 19}

I love looking through my old journals from time to time. I've been journaling my prayers pretty regularly since 2000. My journals are one of my greatest treasures & I'm so thankful that I can read back & see God's hand on my life--through the ups & downs. I found this writing that I did long long ago & wanted to share it. I wrote it after studying 2 Samuel 9 about David & Mephibosheth (Scripture below). It is one of my very favorite stories in the Bible & it has deeply affected my own walk with the Lord.


The Beggar
(written February 4, 2002)

Crippled feet carry me down the carpet to Your throne.
Tainted.
Dirty.
Worthless.
Empty.

What a wretched man I am.
Hopeless.
lifeless.
Soul crying from the agony within.
Empty.
Your voice billows from above.
My name.

So full of sin.
Crusted with fear.
Oh feet of mine why do you stagger so?
Crippled from birth.

Tears flow,
mingled with the dirt of my flesh.
Empty.
My clothes hang ragged on my bones.

Weary, oh so weary.
Surely death awaits as I limp toward Your throne.

King.
Majesty.
Enthroned with grace.

Oh how I am drawn to your light.

Fear.
Fear so deep it pricks my soul.
Alone.
So far away.
Empty.

So wretchedly empty.

So I lift up my cup to You.
Oh, do not dispise the cup of a beggar.
Nothing to give.
My breath is all I have.
Yet my trembling hand do I lift.
Empty.

Oh King fill my cup.
Fill the cup of this dirt-crusted beggar.
Just a drop.
The depths of me ache.

Oh just one drop.

Rain.
Flow.
Flood.
Wash over me.

More than enough.
Empty no more.
So full.
So free.
The cup overflows.
A beggar set free.


2 Samuel 9
David and Mephibosheth 1 David asked, "Is there anyone still left of the house of Saul to whom I can show kindness for Jonathan's sake?"
2 Now there was a servant of Saul's household named Ziba. They called him to appear before David, and the king said to him, "Are you Ziba?" "Your servant," he replied.
3 The king asked, "Is there no one still left of the house of Saul to whom I can show God's kindness?" Ziba answered the king, "There is still a son of Jonathan; he is crippled in both feet."
4 "Where is he?" the king asked. Ziba answered, "He is at the house of Makir son of Ammiel in Lo Debar."
5 So King David had him brought from Lo Debar, from the house of Makir son of Ammiel.
6 When Mephibosheth son of Jonathan, the son of Saul, came to David, he bowed down to pay him honor. David said, "Mephibosheth!" "Your servant," he replied.
7 "Don't be afraid," David said to him, "for I will surely show you kindness for the sake of your father Jonathan. I will restore to you all the land that belonged to your grandfather Saul, and you will always eat at my table."
8 Mephibosheth bowed down and said, "What is your servant, that you should notice a dead dog like me?"
9 Then the king summoned Ziba, Saul's servant, and said to him, "I have given your master's grandson everything that belonged to Saul and his family. 10 You and your sons and your servants are to farm the land for him and bring in the crops, so that your master's grandson may be provided for. And Mephibosheth, grandson of your master, will always eat at my table." (Now Ziba had fifteen sons and twenty servants.)
11 Then Ziba said to the king, "Your servant will do whatever my lord the king commands his servant to do." So Mephibosheth ate at David's [a] table like one of the king's sons.
12 Mephibosheth had a young son named Mica, and all the members of Ziba's household were servants of Mephibosheth. 13 And Mephibosheth lived in Jerusalem, because he always ate at the king's table, and he was crippled in both feet.