--C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity
Sometimes my soul just aches and I can't really figure out why. I've been in this state for several days now. And I go through seasons in my life where I just get so stuck in this rut of longing & contemplation. I ache for so much more. My dreams feel so big, but sometimes my life feels very small. I struggle a lot with what I am so passionate about (missions, the poor, those in bondage, orphans) and how that lines up with how I live out my days (grocery shopping, making food for my kids, cleaning my house--again). I know that God has called me to be a wife and mom. But I also feel that He has called my family & I to serve the "least of these". Will this ache ever really go away? Probably not--because, until Christ returns, the problem of pain, of sin, of separateness from God will exist in our world. Do you have desires that just can't seem to be fulfilled? Dreams for the Kingdom of God that seem so far away, and yet so real that you could reach out and touch them?
I was talking to my friend Aprile awhile ago & she posed this question to me: "how does a stay at home Mom live a radical life for Jesus?" I have thought about that so much lately. I know that just raising my kids to love Jesus & love people will make me (and them for that matter) radical. But what about the other dreams He has placed in my heart? Will I always ache for their fulfillment, or will I see it one day with my own eyes? Is my job to pass these dreams to my children & watch them live them out? So much to ponder (and if you've been walking with me for any time at all you know that I am most definitely a dreamer, a ponderer, a thinker).
It is so obvious on days like today that I just don't fit in here. I was created for more than this life can offer me. I love my life--don't get me wrong. But until I see Jesus face to face, I will ache for more. He has set eternity into my heart. This world is such a fleeting moment. So much of what we do is meaningless.
Oh Father, please draw my heart to the things that matter most to you--remove any attachments that I hold to this world. Burn away that which does not stir Your heart. Remind me daily that this world is not my home. Make me the agent of change. Thank you for wanting to use an ordinary old girl like me. You are just so worthy.
Haiti Promo Video from Chi Lee on Vimeo.
But this world *IS* your home -- at least for now. I think we must be very careful when we say things won't change until Christ returns. We have to be the change, and living in a Christ-like way is not at all meaningless, when you think about it. No one person is called to do everything, but every person is called to do *SOME* thing and do it to the best of our ability. Every child brought up to do the right things is means the world becomes a better place.
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