I'm Still Here

I know it probably seems like I've fallen off the bloggy bandwagon again, but I promise I haven't! I'm teaching a workshop at a widow's conference at our church this week & my head is spinning with all that I need to finish before this weekend. So I'm here, just super busy with life this week! Please be praying for me as I teaching about seasons of wandering in the desert & how we can find God who is our joy in our darkest & driest moments. I'm really excited about it, but definitely a bit nervous! Thank you for praying. For now--enjoy my newest picture of the girls & I...definitely a treasure for me. It is rare that I get in front of the camera--I much prefer to hide behind it :) Enjoy your Monday! See you soon!

6 Months in Pictures

**These pictures loaded backwards, so they start with the most recent and go back. Sorry!!

Matt in Haiti
Ava loses her first tooth!


Ava starts soccer (good preparation for living in Scotland!!)



Jane & PawPaw at Grandparents Day at her school

Ava starts kindergarten!

A budding artist is born :)

Daddy & his little ladies

Jane Bug

Ava & her new favorite pose...where does she learn this stuff??

Beignets in New Orleans @ Cafe DuMonde....YUM!!

A trip to the zoo with my Mama's family in Louisiana...here's Jane with my Aunt Catherine (Mom's sister)

Zoo fun!

Cutie pie cousins in New Orleans

The Drama Queen

The Diva

Flower Girling...Ava's steady day job :)

Silliness!

Happy Birthday Matt! You look so pretty!

Blueberry picking at the fabulous Moody Blues Farm

Look who got her nose pierced while her husband was in Ethiopia :)

Wee lassies on the streets of Glasgow, Scotland

Touring the beautiful Sterling Castle (William Wallace fought to defend this castle)

Muddy boots after a country walk

Kite flying at dusk

Mi familia

Magic at Pollock Park

Happy Resurrection Day!

Oranges from our backyard...we harvested a whopping 7 oranges!!

My Dad, sister & I at the beach

Dancing at an authentic Scottish Céilidh on our first trip to Scotland

(and laughing so hard at ourselves!)

Me, my man & our castle

My best friend Erin & I outside the Elephant House in Edinburgh--the little coffee shop where J.K. Rowling started writing the wonderful Harry Potter series. We were FREAKING OUT!!! (There is a really cool video interview with J.K. at the Elephant House on that website...you fans out there should check it out :)

Inside the beautiful Glasgow Cathedral

The streets of Edinburgh...so lovely!

Let's Just be Real

Not going to lie. I'm having a hard time jumping back in to this blog. I don't really know what to say--this has been such a hard year for me. I feel so different than the person I was a year ago. My heart aches every day for my Mom. The pain is not as raw & all consuming as it was 9 months ago, but it is still very fresh. There is a deep rooted sorrow in my heart that is always present now--sometimes it takes front & center in my days, other days it's just like a shadow behind me. But it is always there. I don't know much about grief--if what I'm feeling will ever go away. But for now, it is where I am. I don't want to hide that from you--but I also don't want this blog to be such a weighty place every day either. While my grief is always present, it is not all that I am these days either. I'm also a girl who feels like my dreams are almost within my grasp. I have been praying for God to move me (which then turned to us when the boy entered the picture) overseas since I was 18. I am so content with where God has our family at the present time & so overjoyed that He is calling us to be missionary church planters.

So you see....I'm in this weird place right now. Sorrow is deeply embedded in my heart, and yet at the same time, my heart feels so light and so free. I don't even know if I'm making any sense right now. I think it's going to take some practice getting back into writing. I know I need to stop caring (again) if anyone is reading this silly little blog & just worry about writing. Writing is a remedy for me. This space is a healing space for me. I'm happy to be back here. I need to be back here. It's just hard to be so vulnerable sometimes. But years & years ago, I commited to be a genuine person. I was so fed up with people who tried to fool the world into thinking that they had it all together. I was so convicted in that area. So long ago, I promised God that I would be a voice that just told the truth. So here I am today--standing in front of you to say, that I don't have it all together. I am struggling. My emotions are all over the map most days. Tears are a very real part of most every day. But in the midst of that, I am not done in. I am not cast down forever....I know I'm not. There is this seed that God planted in my heart that grows & grows every day. What is it? It's called HOPE & it carries me on its wings every day.



I wanted to close tonight with a song that has become so dear to my heart. Some days the words of this song are so easy to sing--like breathing--so natural & obvious. Other days, the words of this song kill me to sing. He is not done with me yet. Praise Him! He is not finished with me...Praise the Lord oh my soul....





Praise the Lord by Kristene Mueller

Praise the Lord, oh my soul,
And let all that's within me praise His name.
Praise the Lord, oh my soul,
And let all that's within me praise His name.

Praise the Lord, oh my soul,
And let all that's within me praise His name.
Praise the Lord, oh my soul,
And let all that's within me praise His name.

For I will not die, I will live,
And I will tell of the Works of the Lord
And sing of His wonders.

I will not die, I will live.
I will not die, I will live,
'Cause He's a great God.
He's a great God.

And I get to love You through whatever comes.
What a privilege
That I get to love You through whatever comes.
Oh, how sweet it is,
That I get to love You through whatever comes.
What a privilege it is
That I get to love You through whatever comes.
Oh, how sweet it is.

And nothing's gonna take Your praise out of my mouth
As long as I shall live,
As long as I shall live.
Oh, nothing's gonna take Your praise out of my mouth
As long as I shall live,
As long as I shall live.

And I will not die, I will live,
I will not die, I will live.
For I will not die, I will live,
And I will tell of the Works of the Lord,
I will sing of His wonders.
For I will not die, I will live,
For I will not die, I will live.
I will not die, I will live,
Oh, I will not die, I will live.

And nothing's gonna take Your praise out of my mouth
As long as I shall live,
As long as I shall live.
Oh, nothing's gonna take Your praise out of my mouth
As long as I shall live,
As long as I shall live,
'Cause He's a great God.
He's a great God.
You're a great God.
You're a great God

And The Winner Is...

Ok friends..I used http://www.random.org/ & it came up with our winner as comment #2:


True Random Number Generator

Min: 1
Max: 12
Result:
2
Powered by RANDOM.ORG


So congrats Amber Wing! I will contact you through Facebook to get your address & I will send out your prize later this week :) Thanks everyone for joining in the fun!

**2 friends weren't able to get their comments to post, so I chose to enter them still...you know, cause I'm sweet like that ;)

Hi. My Name is Rachel.

So, I feel like we need to get to know each other again. I will start. Hi. My name is Rachel. That's me up there--next to a castle in Scotland that I'm madly in love with. In Spanish, my name is Raquel. I like to read Jane Austen books. I also like to read Harry Potter books. I love antiques. I love Mexican food. I love to study other cultures. I am loving music from Chelsea Moon and Ray LaMontagne at the moment. I love freezing cold weather. I like rain. I like to watch Little House on the Prairie. I don't watch tv--only dvds. Except for Parenthood. I watch that online. I like the color green. I like chewy candy (hot tamales, good & plentys, caramels, etc.) I have recently fallen in love with Indian food & crave pashwarmi naan like I'm a crazed pregnant woman. Which I'm not...pregnant that is. Some days I want more kids. Some days, I can't imagine adding one more to the chaos. I like to dance to Lecrae in the privacy of my own home. I like things with birds on them. I love grey & yellow together. I like vintage things. I like to take pictures & dream of being a photographer. I am not attached to much of my stuff. I'm dreaming of living in Scotland. I watch Gilmore Girls almost every day. My favorite books of the Bible are Psalms, James, Luke and Proverbs. After all these years of telling you I struggle in my prayer life, I still struggle in my prayer life. I wear grey jammie pants that my Mama gave me during every waking moment that I'm not out in public. I love working with college girls. I feel things very deeply & empathize with people who are hurting. I love old hymns. I miss my Mom every day. I am addicted to carmex lip balm. I like it when my husband smiles at me. I like beat up hardwood floors. I have an antique button collection. I also make earrings out of buttons. I love to paint. I love to distress things. I love the smell of bacon and old books.

Ok. Now it's your turn. Please tell me 3 things about yourself. Any random 3 things. And to spice things up a little bit, I will randomly pick one comment and send something that I love to the winner. (So make sure you leave a way for me to get in touch with you! Email address or something!) Ok...ready? Set? Go!

**I will pick a winner on Monday evening, so please submit your comments before 8pm on Monday :)