I Wish I Could Tell Her...

...that her baby girl is safe.

...that I do not judge her.

...that her sacrifice has changed my life.

...that we call her Jane because it means "our God has been gracious to us"

...that I wonder all the time if Jane girl looks like her.

...that I think she is brave.

...that sometimes when I'm rocking my daughter at bedtime I wind up weeping because sometimes I wonder if I am what is best for her...me and not her.

...that I wish I could look her in the eye and somehow tell her thank you.

...that I pray daily for her salvation so I can spend eternity getting to know the woman that carried and birthed my daughter.

...that I wish I could know more about her so that one day when Jane asks, I could tell her more.

...that I'm doing my best.

...that she is my hero.

My Girls....

• make me smile
• make me pull my hair out
• make me love Jesus more
• make me need Jesus more
• love to twirl
• keep me laughing
• already roll their eyes at me
• teach me about grace
• love sugar
• run around naked (at home of course :)
• dance better than me
• are created in the image of God Himself
• say silly things
• fight with each other already
• make me sing as loud as I can
• have changed me

Meal Planning, Coupons & Grocery Budgets, OH MY!!

So in an attempt to live more simply & to be better stewards of our money so we have more to give, I have jumped in to the whole couponing/meal planning thing. I am still extremely new at this & really don't fully know what I'm doing yet, but I'm really trying to understand it all! I attended a couponing workshop, ordered my extra Sunday papers, and have started stockpiling my coupons (newspaper & internet). I've run across some good websites/resources that I wanted to share with you really quick that are helping me in all of this! Let me know if you know of other good resources!

• Check out this list of free downloads! I'm LOVING all these templates--grocery budget, meal planner, grocery list (you just click the things you need & hit print--SO EASY & FAST!!)

• http://www.truecouponing.com/ This may be a local website--not sure, but it is awesome! These 3 ladies go to my church and are godly lovely women. There whole reason for couponing is to buy extra so you can share with those around you...love that!

• http://www.tastykitchen.com/ This is the recipe database that the Pioneer Woman (pretty much my favorite blog evah!!) set up--it is amazing & so easy to use. Just type in what you're wanting to cook & it pulls up all these great easy recipes with reviews and detailed instructions. You can also print your recipes or set up a recipe box to save recipes you want to try in the future.

• http://www.faithfulprovisions.com/ Like True Couponing, but also has some really great extras on it like free blockbuster rental codes & such

• the iSlice cutter...you're going to laugh at me, but this thing is AWESOME!! It makes cutting coupons so much faster & easier. I paid $3 for mine--not sure how much they are on the website, but I would definitely recommend it!

Ok...that's all I can think of for now! Just had to share some of my treasures with you :)

The End {Day 30}

June 30

I can't believe the end has come. And that I survived this little blog challenge. I'm glad I did this. I'm glad that I followed through on something (by history I'm not so great at that). I feel like I've held a frame up to myself & shown you a bit of who I am. It is hard to be vulnerable sometimes. It is scary to lay yourself out there for people to examine closely. It's not easy, but it seems to almost always be worth it. Don't we all just want to be known? Really truly known? I am so thankful for people in my life who know me. And still love me. But most of all, I am so thankful for a God who knows me intimately. Every tiny everything about me. And He loves me passionately. If you don't yet know this God of mine I urge you, beg you to turn your eyes to Him. He knows and He loves. There is nothing better in all the world than to be known and loved by the God who created you. He loves you passionately....turn your eyes to your Maker....you will never ever in a bajillion years regret it!

So here is how I would like to end this month:

First of all, I would love to hear from you if you've been reading all (or even part of the) month. If you've been reading, will you leave me a comment to let me know? Even if I don't know you. Even if you've been "lurking" on this blog. Trust me--I definitely lurk on blogs. Lots of them. But I would really really love to meet you!!! And if you have a blog I'd love to have a link so I can return the favor :)

Second, a silly question: What blog post this month was your favorite?

Third, a serious question: What is God doing in your life RIGHT NOW. In this very moment? What is He teaching you? What Scripture are you clinging to? I would really love to learn from you as this little challenge comes to an end. I would love to hear your heart!

So happy June to you all--it has been fun for sure! I'm probably going to take a few days off, but I will not disappear again, I promise. I've been reminded of how much I really do enjoy writing and documenting my days. I would urge you to do the same. Maybe not in the same format (although maybe you would enjoy such challenge), but in some way I would encourage you to pick up your pen and start writing down your life. Your kids will thank you one day. And who knows....maybe even some day your words will change the world. Or at least one person. And I think that would make it all really worth it. Hugs to you all....thanks for coming along on this crazy journey! See you soon!

Rachel: The Daydreamer {Day 29}

June 29
By very nature, I am a daydreamer. I always have been & I probably always will be. I pass my time dreaming away. I love to let my mind wander. I love to dream up crazy stories & situations. When I read a book my mind drifts away & I become a part of the book. When I watch a movie, I imagine what it would be like if I jumped into the story. I dream about what I want my life to look like. I dream about what my kids will become. I dream about heaven. I dream about everything.

So of course the other day my mind wandered away & I started thinking about when I was a high school senior. On the brink of new adventures--what was I dreaming about? I dreamed about Africa. I dreamed about marrying one day. I dreamed about adventures on the mission field. I dreamed about changing the world.

And here I am, 12 years later and I started wondering...

Is my life turning out like I thought it would?

And I ask you the same question...is your life turning out how you thought it would?

In some ways mine has. In other ways, not at all. In some ways it's sweeter. In some ways it is way more difficult. Some dreams were naiive. Some dreams have come true. Some dreams are still lingering. Some have morphed over the years.

So what do you do when life doesn't turn out like you thought it would? And no, that's not a rhetorical question. I would love to hear your thoughts on this. Is your life turning out like you thought it would? Like you dreamed it would? Is that because you stopped dreaming?

This week I've been surrounded by passionate students and it has made me start dreaming again. It is good to be around crazy, passionate, I'm going to change the world!!! students sometimes. It is refreshing. And convicting. And scary.

I don't want to waste my life. I want to live my dreams. I want to dream new ones. I want to die well one day--with no regrets.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on all of this!

8 Years! {Day 28}

I'm so sorry that I wasn't able to post these last 3 days on time. We got to camp and had zero internet. Here are my last 3 posts!

June 28

Today my man & I are celebrating 8 years of marriage! I can hardly believe it's been 8 years already, and in other ways it feels like he has always been there. We were together for 4 years before that, so we've really been together for 12 years already. Matt is such a good man, a good husband, and a good daddy. He puts up with a lot from me, and I am so grateful for his patience and support. We are hoping to sneak away for a little overnight getaway next week & I can't wait to be able to spend good uninterrupted time with him. Once kids come along it is so hard to stay connected WELL and I am looking forward to spending time just talking and reconnecting again. I praise God for a godly husband...he is a gift to me for sure!

Here are some pictures from our wedding day. We got married right on the brink of digital photography. Our official pictures from that day were taken on film and are in an album. Our photographer has since gone out of business, so I'd love to somehow remove them from the album (w/o ruining them...that will be the hard part!) and get them scanned and put on a cd. These pictures were taken by my Aunt--she was the only person at my camera that even owned a digital camera. They are pretty poor quality, but they are better than nothing for sure! So here they are...some unofficial pics for your viewing pleasure :)

walking down the aisle toward my guy :)

our lovely wedding party

I Do

My sister & I

First Dance (through the eyes of my parents)